For an Uncle

Today I noticed that I think of you more than I realized. 

You have managed to directly affect me to the core.

I feel guilty,wrong

Whenever I look back on a childhood memory

With fondness, just because,

You were in them.

You had no right to make me happy and sad all at once that way.

I learned so much from and lost even more to


I should hate you, for the blood soaked night mares. For the coroner and funeral preparer 

Who couldn’t put her together 

Like an egg fallen from a wall.

For the uncontrollable anger

And the trust issues.

I do hate you.

For flashlight tag 

For jumping contests on the trampoline.

For card games and dominos.

For making me hate the things that made me happy.

The more I hate you the harder it is to make you disappear. So I suffer through it because I owe it to her. I hate you for her. She never liked dominos anyway. You always cheated.


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