Writings

​In the Mind of the Green River Killer: Humble Beginnings

Shh….you whisper as you kiss her lips. They were cold, almost frozen and provided no metronome for your wildly beating heart. Shh…you whisper again as you leave a trail of kisses down her neck.
Your hands are tangled in her hair as you massage her scalp, (your impish attempt at foreplay). Your first time. This is your first time and you think she knows it (you don’t hide it well). But you keep forging down that path. A pot of gold is at the end of this rainbow and you can see it now as it glimmers cheerfully in the light. You will go where you have never gone before. You Will Conquer!

You bring your lips back to hers as your tongue searches for an opening. Met with reluctance you nibble on her lip a little, and she gives. Your tongue thrashes about wildly in her mouth as it wrestles with hers. They collapse onto each other and meet with a gentler embrace as you close your eyes and start to really feel the moment. Before it was like an outer body experience, but not now, now you’re there right there in the thick of it, ravenous and desperate for more.

She’s wriggling, she’s losing interest. You just know it. Why would she ever be with a guy like you? You might’ve had her at first but…your kiss is too meek, she can smell your fear, so what to do know? Slide off of her and be mister upstanding uptight dickhead gentlemen and apologize for going after what you’ve been wanting for so long? You’ve been jerkin’ it twice a day for a week to this girl and here you are with her and all of a sudden you turn in to a pussy? 

No…Not this time. This time you Will go all the way and it’ll be something to relive in your head over and over again. You’ll talk about it with the guys, brag about how it was your first time but she was screaming your name. They’ll rag you because she’s not the greatest looking, but afterwards they’ll buy you beer as a sign a respect for your safe arrival into manhood. You need this; you knew it when you picked this filthy bitch up. This is yours so don’t fuck it up!

You kiss her deeper now and unbutton her top. You pull her bra up and caress the soft flesh hiding behind it. You bite her nipple and it stands erect as she moans. There it is!! The telltale sign that a girl is good and ready to go all the way! 

You unbutton her jeans with one hand as you keep the other cupped on her left breast almost as if keeping it from exposure. You slide your fingers into her panties and they’re damp. You’re not really sure if that’s a good thing but you push them pass the outer folds anyway. You find it, the mound of Venus, the pleasure button, the bundle of eight thousand nerve fibers, you Sir, have found the elusive clit!!!! You the awkward dumbass that nobody ever noticed. Just another kid crowding the hallways of some public school in Washington. You!!! You did it you think to yourself as you fumble with it crazily.

You’re ready, and she’s willing. You’re about to unzip your pants when the blindfold starts to slip. Shit!!! She’ll see your face. She’s just a prostitute you say to yourself reassuringly, but you can’t help thinking she won’t be too pleased to find out that the guy with his hands around her throat is some 16 year old punk. You pull the blindfold up over her eyes to make sure she can’t see. She starts wriggling more and making noise. Too much noise and you get nervous. You place both hands back around her throat and squeeze until your muscles hurt. She’s fighting for air but you squeeze harder thinking “stupid bitch”. There, she’s quiet now. She’s not dead, but she’ll be out for a while, long enough for you to be gone just in case she did get a glimpse of who you were. You push her out the car and drive away thinking way to go Gary, you fucked up again as you mumble “Should’ve killed the bitch” 

You get home and you’re frustrated as hell. Dumb hooker bitches ruin everything. You wish you would’ve killed her, at least that way you wouldn’t be on edge for the next week and you could’ve got to see what it was like. Sitting in the driveway you notice little Eddie playing in his yard with a ball. He waves to you. You get out of the car and pull the switchblade out of your back pocket. You go up to Eddie, and ask to play.

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