If I could go back in time, I would tell you the truth. You are more magical than Houdini. You are brighter than a Tesla coil. You are the center of the Universe. Do not change who you are. It’s okay to be scared. Don’t hide it in anger. You will find your voice and once you do, no one will ever be able to get you to shut up. The things you’re passionate about? Pursue them! Every little thing that makes you even remotely happy should be protected. Everyone saying you’re rude or mean are wrong. You are neither of those things, but you aren’t passive either and that is perfectly fine! The nightmares about what happened to her will fade and soon you will only be able to remember the good things. What you’re doing to yourself…you won’t want do it any more. Soon you’ll have a fever dream involving being blessed by a high priestess who speaks words that years from now you will be hard-pressed to have etched into your skin like a declaration to the world. When you wake up from it, the world will have changed. Somehow everything will begin to glow and you will have no trouble seeing people for who they are. That wild streak? Embrace it! It calls forth the best years of your life as well as the best people you will ever find to be in it! They will embrace you and believe in you more than you believe in yourself. All that crap about writing? Turns out you actually love it! It’s the most amazing thing in your life and when you find it, no matter how hard you try ( and trust me, you Will try), you will never be able to lose it. That person that totally has you fooled. The one who makes you think he is just as dark as you are? You’re only friends with home for now but in just three years he will convince you he is ready to be more. You will keep him a secret as you so often do ( though we’re working on that now). He is lying. In fact, he has been lying to you since the first time you two meet. Every truth you uncover about him will send him farther from you until one day you will cast him into oblivion, which is right where he belongs. All in all the next few years will force you to find peace within yourself. You will be proud of everything you do and will love yourself more than you ever thought possible. So, just hold on, please. Because one day, you will wake up and finally be happy.
*side note: Have you ever wanted to go back in time and tell yourself something? Is there something you discovered that you just wish you knew sooner? What would you say, if you had the chance to say it?